The End is Near, Time to Face the Real World as an Adult?
I know that is such a depressing title, but it represents how I am feeling right now. I have finished my classes almost two years ago, but I am still an undergraduate student. But that is about to change.
You see, the reason I haven’t graduated even though I have finished my classes and have more than enough credits is because I am not ready yet to let go this phase of my life. I really enjoy my life as a student and don’t want to let it go yet. But I guess I can only hold on for so long before I have to let go, and I know that the time is near.
me and my sister
Let me be honest with you: it’s not that I don’t want to graduate, it’s just I don’t want to face the fact that I am an adult and it’s time for me to take full responsibility of my life. I feel like I am not ready for that yet, but let’s face it, nobody is really ready for that. it’s not that I can’t take responsibility for my life, if i’m being honest I think I am more mature than most people my age, I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. I have been pretty independent since I was 14 and I can make decisions for myself. This is mostly because of how my parents raised me and my siblings I guess. They really trust us and give us room to grow, to make mistakes and to learn. My siblings and I were not spoiled with expensive stuff or fancy clothes, our parents provide us what we really need, and we we want something more we have to earn it. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not because they don’t have money or being stingy, it’s their way to help their kids understand the value of things and appreciate what we have and learn to be content with it. I am really grateful that my parents did what they did, because it really helps me and my siblings to value things, people and life more.
Some of you might ask if I have been independent since young age, why am I afraid to grow up and move on to the next chapter of my life? I don’t know if there’s a simple answer to that, but I think mostly it’s because I am afraid of things change. You see, even though I have been independent for a long time, I always know that if anything goes wrong I can still come to my parents for help, they’re like my safety net that is always there to catch me if I fall. No matter how independent I am, I will always come to my parents for advice or for comfort. I know that no matter how old I get, my family is always be there for me, to catch me if I fall. But the thing is, I don’t want that, I don’t want them to take care of me, I feel like this is my turn to take care of them. and I am just having hard time to accept that I am an adult now, because that also means that my parents are getting old.
My 8th Birthday, with my cousins, sisters and aunt.
My parents have always been my rock, and when I am with them I feel like I can always be that little boy who comes to them for comfort when stumble on a rock and fall. Adulthood really scares me, because I have to learn to face the world myself, because one day I might have no other choice. There will come a day when my parents will no longer be there for me, and I am afraid that the little boy in me will be gone with them. and what’s left is just a scared grown up man who pretends he knows what he’s doing in the world that he used to have so much hope for.
in the end, it doesn’t matter if I am ready or not, because either way the future is coming and time won’t stop for anybody. So I guess this is it then, it’s time to move on to the next chapter. I will see you guys there!
