Graduation: The End of the Decade but the Start of an Age.

Vi veri veniversum vivus vici

—By the power of truth, I, while living, have conquered the universe.

Well, I guess there It is… another milestone in life has been accomplished. Like for most people who just finished university, for me graduation is a mix of emotions. it is excitement, accomplishment, but it is also sadness, fear, and anticipation. I feel like it is an ending of something, which in a way it is! but also it is a beginning of endless possibilities. It is a reminder that I am no longer a kid, and it’s time to face the real world as an adult. it’s like the world has been looking forward to testing me whether or not I am good enough to make it out there. Graduation is a notice of a big change that is about to come, that what it is.

Graduation is exciting because it makes me feel like I have accomplished something good, that my efforts and sacrifices for the last few years in University was not for nothing. but in other hand, it always makes me sad because I know that my friends and I most likely will go our own ways, walk our own paths where they might not cross each other that often or even not at all. it makes me sad that we will live our own lives where we might not be able to meet frequently, and that our friendship might fade away with time and distance.

Above all, graduation scares me. the uncertainty of how the future would be hits harder when you are no longer a student and have to decide what you want to do with your life. I would be honest with you, I don’t really know what I am going to do next, continue studying? Start looking for a job? I really don’t know. I guess it’s nice to have stable income so I can start building the life I have been dreaming of, but am I ready for it?

I studied law because I wanted to be a diplomat, but after many considerations about all aspects of my life, I decided that it’s not for me. But I also don’t want to be an attorney, after taking part in many trials and court meetings, I realised that it would be a heavy burden for me to carry on my shoulder, so no Fahrurozi the attorney. I guess that’s life, when we were younger we thought that we knew what we want to do in life, what we want to become. But as we grow and experience life, we understand that some things are not good for us, or just not meant to be. it doesn’t mean that we are giving up on our dreams, it simply means that we understand when we should fight and when we should let go — and I think that is one of the most important life lessons we should learn.

So, the big question I have to answer is—what do I want?

When I was younger I have big dreams of becoming someone important in the world, someone who can make a different. Now, what I want is simple. I want to be happy, to live a peaceful life. Social status doesn’t really matter for me anymore, because you can be high in rank but still not happy. So as cheesy as it sounds, from now what I want to strive for is being happy. I guess that is one of the reasons I let go of my dream of becoming a diplomat, and that is also why I don’t want to be an attorney.

“I want to be happy”

that is such a vague answer, of course everybody wants to be happy, but what do I want to do with my life after graduation? To be honest, I don’t know. I haven’t really made a plan yet. I guess I will just go with the flow for now, try as much things as I can, try to experience life more, so I can understand better of what I want to do in life. In few days I have a job interview with a Belgian company that manufactures furniture. Let’s see if it is something for me or not, and If I will enjoy it or not.

That is all for now. i know I am not the only one who feel this way about life and the unknown of the future. So if you are one of those people who feel this way, I hope you can find your way to understand yourself better and figure out what you want to do with your life.